Tim Johnson is congratulated by fans along the finish line. ©Tim Westmore

Tim Johnson is congratulated by fans along the finish line. ©Tim Westmore

by Kat Statman

Yeah, yeah, Olympics this and Olympics that. Who cares? ’Cross isn’t even an Olympic discipline (note that sweeping ice while precariously standing on said sheet of ice is)! All that really matters right now is what is going on in the world of those crazy pro crossers and we have a few things to share. This week: Tim Johnson and Jens Voigt, did they come from the same womb? Ted King, honorary crosser for his performances last fall, signs Marshmallow Fluff; we keep a close eye on John Gadret in the Giro; Katie Compton decides to shred some locals on the Internet; and Georgia Gould may no longer need heckling for being soooooo slow.

Tim Johnson and Jens Voigt from the Same Womb?
Everyone knows that Jens is the man when it comes to sitting on the front and hurting everyone in the peloton regardless of the weather or the terrain. He’s a beast of awesomeness, hence the Jensfactor. Well, thanks to Jeremy Durrin, the sausage king, we can guess that Tim Johnson may have just come from the same womb. In a recent blog, Jeremy described riding in a break during some road race in Massachusetts with Johnson. When Durrin complained about his legs hurting, Johnson just told him to put in a bigger gear and pedal harder. That’s right, because when you are crying from agony, that is always the only solution: put it in a bigger gear and go! (And ‘Shut  up, legs!’)

Ted King Signs Marshmallow Fluff
Honorary ’crosser Ted King seems to be making a move to bring in a personal sponsor. Personal sponsors are nothing to new to cyclists: Lance with Nike, Johnson with Red Bull, and so on and so forth. But at the Tour of California this week, King posted on his Twitter page that he has just signed his first can of Marshmallow Fluff for an adoring fan. If you follow King and his exploits, you would know that Marshmallow Fluff and 200 mile bike rides go hand-in-hand, so maybe Kraft needs to start a team, the Fluffernutters, and start by signing Ted King. Or maybe just throw Ted a little extra dough for his promotion of the awesomeness contained in the nuclear-disaster-safe marshmallow innards.

Keeping Tabs on Gadret
As the Giro moves on and we continue to watch narrow finishes with multiple corners (us Americans watching are all a little confused at the pelotons ineptness at riding around 90 degree bends in a group, a skill we seem to have become quite skilled at after years of criteriums), let’s check in with Giro podium contender hopeful John Gadret. Gadret had an amazing Giro last year, sticking it out at the front through the Dolomites and showing that ’cross and road do mix absolutely beautifully. Maybe if the organizers hadn’t pulled out the dirt road high mountain epic stage, he would’ve been able to grab a little extra time and stay on the podium for a bit of extra cash, but alas. Well, this year, with not too many serious mountain stages (really none that have been exciting yet), Gadret has been a non-figure in the race. Not only that, but he’s almost three minutes down placed in the 30’s. Now many of those in between will drop out as they hit the Dolomites, but come on, Gadret, get it together.

Katie Compton Joins Strava, Colorado Men Beware
If Katie is on Strava, I fear for all the men living in Colorado Springs, or Colorado in general. Katie can tear the legs off of most men in the world and now she can prove it without having to race them. Hmmm, is this good? Absolutely, a little humility is always good. If I only I lived in Colorado, then I could see how absolutely mediocre I am against pro male racers and pro female racers.

Georgia Gould is Back!
If you didn’t catch it last weekend, Georgia is back. After a meh World Cup beginning, she moved on to a fourth place at the Czech World Cup, and now we see the Georgia we’ve been missing since last summer. Awesome! But then again, heckling is way less fun when it’s, “Hey Georgia, you’re riding so fast (oh crap she’s already gone).” Then again, not worth complaining about, as she has nearly sealed her ride to the Olympics (knock on wood) and it will be exciting to watch her kill it in London this summer. Good luck in La Bresse, Georgia (and the rest of the N. Americans).