We at Cyclocross Magazine don’t typically peruse the section of Craigslist.org that talks about adult fantasies, but recently we innocently stumbled across an ad titled “Seeking tall engineer for vicarious fantasy fulfillment.” Normally, it wouldn’t even get a click, but when it’s in the bicycle section, and with a mechanical engineering degree in house, curiosity got the best of us. We (nervously) clicked.
Well, we’re glad we did. Lo and behold it does combine three of our favorite fantasies – bicycles, cyclocross, and giving back.
“Back when I was in college, I had a fantasy.”
“One fantasy involved finding a cyclocross bike for sale at some greatly bellow-market price.”
And then gets to the dirty details:
“Now, I’ve finally bought that cyclocross bike from the catalog.”
“Like any decent cyclocross bike, it has drop bars.”
And then it gets personal:
“Please let me know your height. (Again, this post is about bikes, not sex, so age and gender are irrelevant; height is.) Also, please let me know your thoughts on whether your professors should give more emphasis to Newtonian or Einsteinian physics.”
You can read the full posting here if you hurry. It’s archived below if you’re late.
And while we all agree cyclocross is the best sport in the world, we’ve never seen anything about the sport make it into the Best of Craislist (although a bike seat has). Perhaps this post deserves to be the first? Give it a vote if you agree.
And if you’re in the Bay Area, are tall, need a starter cyclocross bike, and want to fulfill someone’s exotic fantasy, drop the author a note.
seeking tall engineer for vicarious fantasy fullfillment (sunnyvale)
Back when I was in college, I had a fantasy.
I was getting into cycling, but had limited resources. As a result, my interest in bikes required some improvisation, such as modifying handlebar stem shifters to operate as bar-end shifters. Back then, I spent a lot of time staring at bike catalogs, daydreaming, and trying to make do. One fantasy involved finding a cyclocross bike for sale at some greatly bellow-market price. To maintain a sense of plausibility, there was always some reason why the bike was affordable. And yes, I was the sort of student that would read a posting with the above title hoping that it was about bicycles.
Now, I’ve finally bought that cyclocross bike from the catalog, and have the opportunity to vicariously fulfill that fantasy. This is where you come in. My old bike still has some good miles left in it, and would benefit from the patience that I could offer then, but not now. Good components, but also reasons why they won’t command top dollar. It has a well-engineered and relatively new cyclocross frame, but the frame was made in China. It should hold up for a few more years, but the bike is being offered as-is, with no warrantee expressed or implied. Like any decent cyclocross bike, it has drop bars. Like the wheels, the bars work fine. It has Shimano RSX dual controls, but they don’t shift as responsively as when they were new. Maybe they just need cleaning or adjustment. It has a drivetrain that has never let me down, but isn’t new anymore. You’ll need pedals – the ones that were on there are on my new bike now.
I’d like to give ($0) the bike to an engineering student or, given the economy, someone between tech jobs and getting into cycling/cyclocross. Please let me know your height. (Again, this post is about bikes, not sex, so age and gender are irrelevant; height is.) Also, please let me know your thoughts on whether your professors should give more emphasis to Newtonian or Einsteinian physics. Feel free to include any other information. I’ll decide on the 21st.
If you don’t have a car, we can arrange to meet at a Caltrain or BART stop.