Single Speed Cyclocross World Championships Weekend Update (Imagine Tina Fey reading it to you)
For impatient readers everything important is in Bold. Pretty cool, huh?
FRIDAY NOVEMBER 7TH- Realize the race qualifiers are the next day, scramble to complete/purchase/build a single speed cross bike. Consider sweet costume idea and gather friends and family for the heckling competition. Oh, and travel to Portland and remember how to have fun.
SATURDAY NOVEMBER 8TH- The Earth ceases rotation for appropriate qualifier race conditions.
Qualifier Race head quarters: Chris King 2801 NW Nela St Portland, OR (mapquest it, fool)
9:00am-10: 30am Late registration at Chris King. All racers should be to Chris King by 10:30.
11:00am Qualifier Time trial location revealed
12:00pm (that’s noon)- first rider off! History is made as the running of the most incredible time trial ever begins.
Sometime after noon (depending on number of racers, length of race, how many get lost, etc)- Back to Chris King HQ for some smack talk, ‘bro downs, huge complaints from racers, spectators and the surrounding citizenry, and snacks!
Evening 6pm- Meet at SSCXWC Party headquarters- Vanilla Bicycles Workshop
The evening festivities will include the Last Chance Qualifier Race; this will likely be more fun than the time trial qualifier so slow times are expected. Food, beer and dodge ball; this race/party will also be the prequel to the Best Pub Crawl Ever (seriously, we have it on good authority from someone who was at the last Best Pub Crawl ever. Based on schematics, maps and astrology, this Pub Crawl, scientifically speaking, will be the best one ever). Not that we condone excess drinking, but the longer you last in the pub crawl will likely have a positive effect on your qualification, assuming you haven’t yet. TEAM BEER (seriously) will be hosting the event.
SUNDAY NOVEMBER 9- The actual cyclocross race to determine the Champion. Portland International Raceway (mapquest, again)
9:00am- (not required but encouraged) get to Portland International Raceway for the early Cross Crusade events. Race all the races as a warm up for the SSCXWC. Try not to be like Sue Butler and crash out the kids during the Kiddie Cross race. That’s not cool… Or just watch and cheer the huge throngs (throngs, not thongs..yet) of racers participating in this wonderful series. Out of towners: watch and learn how ‘cross racing should be promoted and executed (read: try to be in the right place at the at right time like these guys and shoot from the hip as much as possible).
4:00pm Start time for Single Speed Cyclocross Worlds. This is important!- Try to get there before 3:50. Everyone will be happier.
Remember the stakes: Golden speedo/bikini, tattoo and a custom, locally hand built cyclocross frame. For the ladies an unparalleled Periera custom frame and for the men a coveted Speedvagen from Vanilla. Also, one full year of bragging rights. There will be plenty of other prizes including a Rainer Frame from Raleigh (a single speed cross frame limited edition) given to whomever we deem worthy. We will be looking for, of course, the best dressed, best heckler, best jump/air, best crash, furthest traveled…etc.